


Through his dreams

by Christywalks



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Hospital, M/M, Post Star Trek: Into Darkness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-09
Updated: 2013-07-09
Packaged: 2017-12-18 05:50:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/876345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christywalks/pseuds/Christywalks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And one night, almost a week after Jim woke up, he curled on the tiny couch of the Duty Room and fell into another dream. In this dream there was no blood, no tears, no sufferings, no separation, and no death at all. There was only Jim.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through his dreams

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [梦里浮沉](https://archiveofourown.org/works/876177) by [Christywalks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christywalks/pseuds/Christywalks). 



> Yeah this is the English version of my Chinese fic, and this is also my first time to write an English fanfic. English is not my native language (actually I'm not even English major), so please be tolerate with my mistakes (I know they are numerous). Thanks so much.

Three days after he pumped half of the blood out of that maniac Khan himself and put it into Jim, Jim’s condition _finally_ stabilized. Of course this didn’t mean that blond young man could get out of his bed, wander around and flirt with the cute nurses who worked for him. After all he may have nine lives but definitely lost one this time. Furthermore according to Spock, who hesitated long enough before telling him, that when they pressed their hands against each other through the glass door the pointed ear bastard genuinely felt that Jim’s katra tuned out.

 _Tuned out_. Of all the descriptions he could use... Bones rubbed his forehead again and again, and knew that even without a scanner his temperature was abnormally high. But he had no time for any rest, because for now his most severe and sole patient, his best friend, and his only family was lying on the medical bed and white like a sheet. These three days Jim’s pulse and breath stopped several times, leaving him no time to close his eyes even for a second. But thank God Jim was now stabilized. He was now lying on his pillow, blonde hair tousled for several days not being able to wash, scars and bruises still evident on his cheeks, but the corners of his mouth twisting up as if he was mocking at Bones’ hardship, and sleeping soundly like a eight-year-old boy. So now Bones was totally out argument to stick at Jim’s bedside, which he had been doing for the past three days. Jim was out of danger, and Spock was taking an eye for him on his captain. He used his most Vulcan and solemn tone to promise Bones that he would informed him immediately even when the slightest changes happened on Jim. (Bones swore he even saw Spock slightly raised his right hand when saying this, as if he would pinch him if he didn’t corporate.)

With that the CMO of the _Enterprise_ was kicked out of her captain’s ward by her first officer.Bones tugged his latex gloves off with the bizarre sensation that he was peeling another layer of his skin off his hands. His apartment was too far away to even be taken into consideration. But the dorm provided by the Starfleet Medical was also at distance with Jim’s ward, and you knew when in an emergency three minutes could make him regret for the rest of his life. So he snapped at the nurse in charge of this floor, who glanced at him with compassion and offered him a shabby Duty Room,which was only ten feet from Jim’s ward. Eventually Bones stood in front of the Duty Room and frowned, glancing back and forth between his door and Jim’s, finally signed and managed inside.This shabby room also quipped a shabby couch, and was worse than the bed in his quarter on the _Enterprise_. Not bother to pull off his boots Bones just collapsed into the couch. And when opened his eyes he could see stars swirling on the ceiling. Yes, now he could fell asleep. He hadn’t slept for more than seventy hours and he was not a green-blooded Vulcan. He was only a divorced old man, who had to crack up his nerves to take care of a handsy boy. Seventy hours might not be his limit but was damn close.

But he just couldn’t fall asleep. Actually he couldn’t let himself to close his eyes. Every time total darkness invaded him his mind would automatically flash back _that scene_ , that scene happened three days ago which made his heart almost stop. He was knocked off by a rushing Vulcan, and when he found his feet again, he saw Scotty and Uhura standing against each other and crying. Then, when he approached the the glass door of the reactor chamber, his whole world collapsed for the second time -- the first time was when Joanna’s mom took away that soft and sweet little girl from him -- and now his own boy was also _taken away_ from him.

Jim rested against the glass, as if he was asleep with his blue eyes wide open. Bones suddenly remembered all those drunken and crazy nights at the Academy, especially the one when Jim went out of his mind and tried to sleep with his eyes open, the result of which was he kicking at a already dozing off Bones every five minutes and asked him dryly if he was asleep. Now Bones wanted to smash that glass and kick at Jim as hard as he could and yelled at him, _yes ,you are right, you are fucking asleep. Could you fucking wake up right now?_

He just had the feeling of throwing up, not only his food but all his professional qualities in front of Jim’s body. When he zipped Jim up he also wanted to throw up and jump in with him. And right now he still got the feeling of nausea, when all he was doing was staring at the ceiling and the stars. He knew perfectly this was his body’s reaction of lacking of sleep, he also knew that it would be gone when he closed his eyes and slept to the end of the world. But he couldn’t. He was afraid that when he woke up again he would still see Jim in sleep -- pale, dumb, lifeless. He could never stand this. Eventually he took out his hypo and gave himself some sedative to let his conscious submerged by darkness and coldness while shuddering with despair.

He slept for two hours and had three nightmares. The first one was two of them jumping off the cliff with rocks waiting for them rather than ocean; the second one was that Khan’s blood was useless and Jim was dead anyway; the third one was Jim still lying on the bed, sleeping, while he was too old to walk. In the last dream he died at the unbelievable age of 145. When he reached out his withered hand to caress Jim’s smooth cheek he shivered and woke up.

Then he jumped out of his bed, weak legs knocking against the walls hard, rushed into the bathroom and threw himself up over the closestool. Actually he threw up nothing at all, maybe just a few drops of fucking gastric juice, for he not only had no sleep but also no food for these seventy hours. Another few more days like these he wouldn’t probably live longer than 45.

But his life went on like these for the next eleven days. When he was conscious he would sit by Jim and watch him until Spock or Scotty kicked him out, then he might look for some food or sleep. There was no need of him listening to the engineer’s dramatic description of his look, he knew it was awful enough for a Vulcan to regard him with warm pity. Fortunately when Bones thought he would actually became a pile of bones Jim finally woke up. He just opened his blue eyes, as if he fell from a dreamland into another. Bones just could’t stop nagging and grumbling and waving his scanner with his face lightened up. The biggest part of his universe finally made sense.

Even after Jim’s waking up time was still harsh for them. All the body inspections, medical monitoring and symptom analysis filled up their timetable. But even with constant nausea Bones could actually eat a little. He still only got three or four hours of sleep everyday, and his head still hurt slightly, but his fever disappeared.And weird dreams kept visiting him.

One night he dreamed of Jim lost all his memories, dumped the _Enterprise_ and Spock and himself to run away with a girl; the other day he dreamed of Jim left alone on a ghost starship and almost considered dead, again; he even dreamed of three of them (yeah with Spock) sitting in front of the camp fire and singing joyfully (And Spock’s singing made his hair stand up for almost eternity, in or out of his dream) . But the most painful dream of all was the one when Jim died again for the _Enterprise_ , but this time he didn’t even leave a body behind. He was sucked into the vacuum of the universe and scattered his molecules among the stars. His last journey was cold and lonely.

He was drained by his dreams, but he was also addicted to them. He just couldn't wait to see the next. He wanted to know how many danger were waiting for Jim, and how many times he could save him like this time, to hear the already stopped heart beat up again, to see the blue eye slowly open again, and to hear his silly but unique nickname breathed out again. Yes he couldn’t deny that Jim was everything to him. After he divorced and stepped into that goddamn shuttlecraft, that lifeful individual was forever inlaid inside his life, made him laugh, made him drunk, fought with him in the Academy doorways and made up that very night, patted on his shoulder, patted on his cheek, took his hand and let him feel the happiness and liveliness that he lacked so much in the past 35 years of his life, and invited him on an adventure to tour among the stars in the ongoing 100 years.

And one night, almost a week after Jim woke up, he curled on the tiny couch of the Duty Room and fell into another dream. In this dream there was no blood, no tears, no sufferings, no separation, and _no death_ at all. There was only Jim, who was laughing under the sunshine and beaming golden rays from toes to crown. The blueness deep in his eyes reflected the sunshine with his smile like an unreachable but intoxicating swirl. Bones stood there frozen and held his breath, watching Jim approach him step by step, and finally take him in his arm.

When he woke up he found a rather bushy head on his chest.

“Jim, what the hell are you doing here?”

He couldn’t stop but grumble. Did this fella know he was still in his recovery? He must talked to the nurse about all the responsibilities and duties ---

“Bones.” Jim stopped his silent yet pouring grumbles with one word. His voice was sleepy, as if he was also just woke up, as if he was also inside Bones’ golden dream and held him with his genuine arms.

“What?”

“I mean, are you all right? Spock told me you didn’t eat and sleep well these days.”

“Yeah thanks for that pointed ear bastard’s concern. I’m fine.”

“Bones.” Jim’s voice was more serious now. “When is your last time to have a normal sleep? Jesus your dark circle is penetrating the darkness! Please don’t tell me you’ve got PTSD!”

“God damn it James Kirk! I’m your doctor, not your lab animals messed up with psychology. Shut your mouth up and sleep or get the hell out of my bed and weep in your Vulcan mommy’s arms.”

“Aye, aye, sir. I’ll shut up now.” Jim shifted several times against Bones and found the most comfortable position. He pressed his cheek on the rough stubble of Bones' jaw and closed his eyes, satisfied. For a couple of minutes the room was quiet, only with their gentle breath echoed with each other. So Bones held Jim a littler closer and closed his eyes.

“Goodnight, Bones.”

“Goodnight, kid.”

 

He woke up ten hours later with sun already up and shining, and the brightest of which shined all the way down on Spock’s raising eyebrow, who was standing just in the doorway.


End file.
